Deep sleep

Wouldn't it be so nice to be able to sleep like a little boy? Griffin and I were snuggling on the couch the other day when  he fell asleep. I wiggled out from under him and left him to nap, lining the floor with pillows. About five minutes after I left him I heard a thunk, and ran back into the room. Sure enough he had rolled off, but didn't even wake up. He slept like this for about another hour.  This isn't the first time this has happened. Griffin has fallen off my bed before and it didn't wake him up either. I am so jealous.
 

A peaceful dinner

Jim has been working late a lot lately which means my cooking is pretty nonexistent. My appetite has finally returned with full force. The other night scrambled eggs, or a peanut butter sandwich just wasn't going to cut it. I was craving a good stir fry, so I bravely attempted to cook. Evening time is usually the time when the boys fight or get into trouble. Making dinner is always a headache if Jim isn't around to entertain them. But this night the boys gave me the best gift. Not once in all the time I was chopping or cooking did they scream, fight, or come ask for my help. After it was done cooking, I looked over and they were still playing happily, so I decided to sit down and eat all by myself. I ate my whole bowl without one interruption, and it tasted delicious! It was so relaxing and rejuvenating. There is never a meal where I don't get up at least three times. 

Of course the peace and quite for me meant a trail of toys all through the house. But the mess was worth it. Because a peaceful dinner time is like a mini vacation for this mom.

So different

The other day the boys were painting at the table. I was looking at the back of their heads and comparing the differences. Gavin has this thick wiry hair that is full of cowlicks  and impossible to style. His neck line grows in towards each other and makes a cute little tale we have to keep trimmed.  We try and keep his hair pretty short to keep it looking okay. Griffin on the other hand has baby fine hair that is so silky and smooth and lays very flat. I love to pet his head when he cuddles me because his hair is so soft. They have completely different heads. 

 

But that is not all. These two came completely different from birth. Their temperaments, interests, food preferences, play style are naturally so different. Gavin has never been a good sleeper. As a tiny newborn we would have to physically shut his eyes as he fought so hard to stay awake. And as he grew a little bit older he had to be in a room all by himself with quiet and dark to fall asleep. His mind has been racing since the day he was born and it showed from the beginning. He is a thinker, a worrier, problem solver, organizer, little engineer, and he just came that way. He always gravitated to the blocks, stacking cups, and puzzles for his choice of toys. He still really struggles with anything imaginative, although he is getting better.  He has thought very literally from the day he was born.

Griffin on the other hand is our cuddly, friendly, do before he thinks little boy. He loves animals, trucks, trains, and has an active little imagination.  He is always pretending with any toy he touches, making him a great self entertainer. He enjoys structured activities but doesn't require them like Gavin. He is very forgiving and oh so loving. He does not hold a grudge.  He was the easiest baby on the planet and pretty much never cried. He was a better sleeper almost from birth and still hardly ever complains when it is nap time.
And I am so grateful they are different. They each are amazing little souls and I can only imagine what they will be able to accomplish in their lives. I hope that I as there mother can help them use their unique gifts and differences to become what they can become. It also makes me excited and anxious for baby number three. What will he/she be like? I think it is one of the funnest things about being a mom, discovering what your baby is all about. Learning their temperament, preferences, and what they are most drawn too. Parents have a powerful influence in shaping their kids, but we don't shape it all. They come the way they come, and those innate traits are the most beautiful of all.

Feeling life

Yesterday we had a little bit of a crazy morning. They boys were just annoying each other and fighting over toys. I was chasing them around the house trying to get them to share and not hurt each other. In the middle of a fight, I caught my heel on the wood base board on the couch and ripped a huge chunk of skin off. I was bleeding all over the place and had to run to the other room to get something to help it stop. I left a trail of blood across my carpet. Just as I grabbed something to stop the blood I saw child number one grab the stick horse they were fighting over and whack it across Griffin's head. They were screaming and wrestling over the horse, and I fumbled to slap a bandaid on my heal to hold the blood in long enough to stop the fight. I put Gavin in his room for time out, put Griffin on the couch, and finish patching up my wound. I decided it was nap time when I heard books flying at the closed door. I put the boys in separate rooms to nap and got to work on scrubbing all the blood dots out of the carpet. I wasn't in the best mood at this point.

   Right then the only thing I wanted was a nap. After twenty minutes of scrubbing I finally got to lay down on the couch. It was this moment when Griffin start yelling. He is usually the perfect kid going down to nap, but of course he chose this day to fight it. I finally gave in and went in his room to discover he was poopy. Now Griffin goes down great but if you ever enter his room again, he will scream and scream until you get him out. After changing his diaper, I tried to leave him in there anyway, knowing he really needed a nap, but alas, after a half hour of crying, I gave up. I cuddled my sweet boy on the couch since Gavin was asleep on my bed. Much to my surprise Griffin feel asleep almost immediately. I laid there with a headache still feeling a little bit frustrated.  It seems every day has at least one absolutely crazy moment where I feel totally out of control.  My thoughts wondered to what in the world I am going to do when baby number three arrives. And then I felt it. The first movement of life inside. I held my breath wondering if it was real. And then it came again and again. That familiar little flip that I cherished with my other pregnancies. I could feel my baby move inside of me. I was over come with awe and gratitude. Feeling life makes this pregnancy so much more real. I looked down at Griffin's amazing eyelashes and adorable nose and watched him sleep.  I laid there and thanked my Heavenly Father for the amazing blessing of being a mother. Suddenly my frustration was gone and I was no longer scared about adding another beautiful child to our family. There will be many more crazy moments, but also many many more sweet moments, and that makes it all worth it.

Couch to 5K, and the belly

I wrote this post about two months ago, but I was waiting to take a picture of the awesome sunset to put with it and never did.  So I thought I would post it now, with a little update. 

After that lovely workout experience a couple of weeks ago, I was just aching for a real work out. I miss my workout buddies so much. Emily, Ali, Stacey, any of you want to move to Cali? Anyway, I wanted to be sweaty and sore and all that comes with it. We can't afford a gym pass, and I live on the second floor, so workout videos I can't really do. I walk to the library and parks multiple times a week, about a mile each way, and chasing little kids can be a workout, but it just doesn't cut it. 

I finally found some inspiration. A long time ago I read about a program called Couch to 5k on this blog. It was months ago, but I never forgot about it. The idea of starting the program has been in the back of my mind since then. But I had a big hurdle to overcome. I have always hated running. I preferred dancing, aerobics, biking, the elliptical, pretty much anything over running. In my mind it was boring, it made my hip hurt, and was just plain hard, and every time I have tried to start running I pushed myself so much at first I was sick or sore and hated it so much I couldn't stick with it. The one time I did run consistently was with my drill team in college. And even when I got in shape, I still hated it. 

Well, I finally buckled down and decided to give it a try. I am just starting my third week of running. And you know what, I have stuck with it. The program starts slow enough that it is not overwhelming, but pushes enough to get a good work out. And I feel good. I never had an iPod to run with before, and music makes all the difference in the world. I never listen to the music I own anymore, and I tell you what, it is fun! I go running three times a week, usually at night after we put the kiddos to sleep. I drive over to a near by high school and I have 30 minutes all to myself. Plugged out from the world. I can't hear anything or anyone and it is glorious. The sun is usually setting and it is beautiful to take in the sunset alone like that. I love to enjoy nature, and often don't notice the beautiful things around me enough. But the evening sky truly is magnificent. The California air is glorious and never too hot. There are usually a few people on the track, but I don't pay any attention to them. It is my release and during the run, it is just me and my music. And you know what, I think I am a better mom because of it. It feels so good to have a little me time that is not in front of the computer or TV. I love my children with all my heart. I love that I stay home with them. I love reading, playing, and hanging out with them. But it can be tedious and repetitive. Every mom needs a break away. When I step out of the house, away from dishes, laundry, and little voices, it does wonders to rejuvenate me and help me be more focused on my kids the next day. 

Now, as for the actual running part, still not loving that. My hip does ache, I need some new shoes, and I need to find the perfect running songs. The dancer in me has to run to the beat, and most songs are too slow or to fast. But either way I still love my music. My iPod battery died 2 minutes after arriving at the track yesterday and it ruined the whole experience. I could hear myself breath, and I had nothing to concentrate on except the actual running. I was much more aware of the skinny, in shape, high schoolers killing me around the track. Ugg. And oh boy did the time just drag! I had to really push myself to make it to the end of the workout. So for me and running, music is the key. My iPod will always be charged from now on! Maybe my iPod and I will actually make it to run a 5k one of these days. I just added it to my bucket list.

Well just reading that made me a little sad. I was loving my new routine. And then I got pregnant. And I was sick, and oh so tired. I could barely make it through the kids bedtime routine, let alone think of putting on my running shoes (or blogging.) I did go once after the sickness kicked in, but it made me so tired I could never get myself motivated to try again. I am now 15 weeks along and the sickness has passed but the exhaustion is still there. I hope I will get some energy back in the coming weeks. But if you aren't pregnant and sick, and want to start running, I highly recommend the couch to 5k program. I am thinking next spring I will give it another try! 

But a baby is totally worth it. I just got to meet my brand new baby niece, and I tell you what, if you want to feel close to heaven, just hold a newborn. I can't wait to have that feeling in my arms again, and I am excited it will be mine!  

So I tried to take a self portrait of my baby belly. Ha ha ha. It is hard to get a good picture of yourself. This was the first try and it made my arm look ginormous. So I decided to head to a mirror.

But I struggled to get the aim right.
 

 

And this was the best I got. I guess I need a little more practice in the self portrait photo shoots. But you can see I am showing!