Feeling life

Yesterday we had a little bit of a crazy morning. They boys were just annoying each other and fighting over toys. I was chasing them around the house trying to get them to share and not hurt each other. In the middle of a fight, I caught my heel on the wood base board on the couch and ripped a huge chunk of skin off. I was bleeding all over the place and had to run to the other room to get something to help it stop. I left a trail of blood across my carpet. Just as I grabbed something to stop the blood I saw child number one grab the stick horse they were fighting over and whack it across Griffin's head. They were screaming and wrestling over the horse, and I fumbled to slap a bandaid on my heal to hold the blood in long enough to stop the fight. I put Gavin in his room for time out, put Griffin on the couch, and finish patching up my wound. I decided it was nap time when I heard books flying at the closed door. I put the boys in separate rooms to nap and got to work on scrubbing all the blood dots out of the carpet. I wasn't in the best mood at this point.

   Right then the only thing I wanted was a nap. After twenty minutes of scrubbing I finally got to lay down on the couch. It was this moment when Griffin start yelling. He is usually the perfect kid going down to nap, but of course he chose this day to fight it. I finally gave in and went in his room to discover he was poopy. Now Griffin goes down great but if you ever enter his room again, he will scream and scream until you get him out. After changing his diaper, I tried to leave him in there anyway, knowing he really needed a nap, but alas, after a half hour of crying, I gave up. I cuddled my sweet boy on the couch since Gavin was asleep on my bed. Much to my surprise Griffin feel asleep almost immediately. I laid there with a headache still feeling a little bit frustrated.  It seems every day has at least one absolutely crazy moment where I feel totally out of control.  My thoughts wondered to what in the world I am going to do when baby number three arrives. And then I felt it. The first movement of life inside. I held my breath wondering if it was real. And then it came again and again. That familiar little flip that I cherished with my other pregnancies. I could feel my baby move inside of me. I was over come with awe and gratitude. Feeling life makes this pregnancy so much more real. I looked down at Griffin's amazing eyelashes and adorable nose and watched him sleep.  I laid there and thanked my Heavenly Father for the amazing blessing of being a mother. Suddenly my frustration was gone and I was no longer scared about adding another beautiful child to our family. There will be many more crazy moments, but also many many more sweet moments, and that makes it all worth it.